My Purpose

I've decided to try something new.  Something special.  Something I'm actually nervous about doing.  Despite teaching school all day long, and despite my desire to publish my own novel one day, I have a growing fear about the fine details of my heart being put in a place where I could ultimately find rejection.  Yet I feel a burning need to try.

So today I'll begin.

Today I am grateful for sweet, soothing, uplifting music.  No matter how difficult life gets, the storms can always be calmed by the right melody in the background.  

Today was the kind of day we all have sometimes when we simply feel our world spinning around too quickly and nothing is really going right.  But I've learned something the past few days: even when I don't think my life is going "right," the ultimate Conductor of this symphony is leading me on to something better.  A fermata here, maybe, where I'm left thinking I have nowhere to go and no assurance of finality.  I keep hoping that this stand-still will end quickly, but I know it's just not the right time.  Perhaps the Conductor is waiting for his orchestra to notice he's still there.  Sometimes I forget I'm part of the music, and I forget how to play...I get so caught up in the lights on the stage, in the noise of the audience, in the distracting glances and pin drops I can hear from the others playing around me.  But still, I have an instrument in my hands and it needs to be played.  I think I've just lost the memory, lost the passion, lost the desire to try it all again.  Yet I know that as soon as I try just moving my muscles the tiniest bit, music will start moving again.  And soon, a gentle crescendo will show me that this song has all been planned.  It has been carefully organized by someone who sees the whole picture much more clearly.

When I hear gorgeous music, something stirs in my heart and reminds me that these things are true--that I've experienced them before and that I have no need to fear.